Conflict Resolution

Part of this human condition seems to be the inevitability of conflict. We each see the world through the lens that our experiences throughout our lives has shaped our view into. Individually we perceive infliction, mannerisms, emotion behind another person’s communication towards us through our personal filters while simultaneously desiring an outcome. We are listening just for our chance to retort, not actually perceiving what others are saying. If we are lucky enough in these modern times to actually be talking to someone, either in person or on the phone, not texting, where all of these nuances gets lost, it is a gift as things seem to be growing more impersonal with technology. Unknowingly we apply all of our past experiences outcomes to our processing of the situations that arise in our lives to our communications, especially conflicts where emotions run high. Our hurt, our pain, our fears that we have experienced all jump out from us without our intent during moments of conflict. Awareness of this communication behavior cycle is the first step. Second step is applying oneself to the practices that aid in expanding your response time. Instant reaction is usually, in my case, not the most thought out thing and can explode a minor conflict into a major one in an instant. What mindfulness and meditation has taught me is to open that gap of reaction, self evaluate the emotions that are driving my need to react, and breathe before responding, sometimes for days. Reflective listening, where we mirror what the person last said to us to make sure we heard it correctly can deflate a situation, as we uncover misheard or misunderstood meanings. Reminding oneself of the gratitude of life in these moments can bring the emotion of the situation down as well. We are living in ever increasingly devise times, and for me and those around me, I would like to practice more conflict resolution techniques to spread more kindness, love and hope, because in my eyes that is what the world needs right now. -BR.